I recently did a small seminar in Austin, Texas. A few of the participants talked about their experience afterwards.

It was a bit odd how I found myself on match.com. I suggested a few friends try it and most enjoyed varying degrees of success and fun. A little more than a month ago, I woke up on a Saturday morning with something I needed to write. While needing to write isn’t an unusual thing for me, what I was about to write was. As I began writing, I discovered (to my surprise) my Match.com profile.

Looking at the instructions, I misread how long the profile could be. The limit was 4,000 characters while I thought it said 4,000 words. Ergo, my 4,000 word profile needed drastic character editing. The writing was easy but the editing a bit more difficult as I had so much I wanted to say. By late afternoon, I was up and running on Match.com.

The main complaint I’ve heard from people playing on Match is that it consumes way too much time. To avoid that, I simply expressed myself truthfully. I was honest—apparently an original idea on Match.

I began my profile with, “I am impossible.” My idea was to write something that would keep away people who really weren’t compatible with or of interest to me. I will share my entire profile later. First, I would like to tell you what happened.

In somewhat over a month, I have been viewed by 140 some-odd people. I don’t know if that is high, low, or in between. I have not searched Match.com for my ideal person—or searched it at all. I have better things to do. Three people have approached me so far. The first is a wonderful woman from Birmingham, Alabama. We have exchanged many emails and are continually inspired by each other; but not inspired enough to get together. She is the sweet woman who offered up the “sex once a day…no matter what” plan that I mentioned in a previous newsletter.

The second person that approached me just wasn’t of interest to me. I let her know as much as nicely as I could.

The third person didn’t write much. She would offer a few sentences in an email while I would, of course, write much more. As I headed off to Portland, I invited her to send an email with some information about herself so it would be in my inbox when I arrived home. She did just that. She included single sentences each describing something about her. Toward the bottom of the email she mentioned she was a Dikini. I heard of this word from a friend a couple of months earlier. I called him to find out if he knew my new friend. He wasn’t home so I left him a message.

He called back early the next morning asking me if it was _________. I said “Yes, it is.”

Coincidentally, it turns out he knows her well and had already wondered if she and I should get together. This seemed like a rather divine conflagration. Within minutes, I composed an email to her proposing that she come for a silent sleep over. That our first “date” be intimate at deep levels and that small talk be banned. In the P.S. I mentioned our mutual friend.

Within a couple of hours she responded that she was on her way out of town in a few days so we would need to get together quickly. We chose the next night. I had a phone Cluster Call until 9PM so she agreed to come around 9:30. Can you imagine my excitement? All of a sudden the world was a different place. I was on the spot in the nicest of ways. Typically, I would worry a bit but there was none of that. I had found someone who really wanted to play… and play soon.

Here is my Match.com profile, please read it while pondering your own and then I will tell you a little bit about our date:

I’m impossible. Really. I want relationship and I don’t. I love my life the way it is and am aware that it would be really nice to cuddle up with someone special this evening and to wake up next to you for a morning walk around my thirty acres.

While I have great relationships with friends and family, romantic relating has eluded me. The work I am engaged in makes Dr. Phil look like a Neanderthal. If you think Oprah is deep, please don’t contact me.

I am tempted by young women. If you find a forty- to eighty-something guy who isn’t, take his pulse or hook him up to a lie detector. But I don’t suspect those young woman can offer the intelligence, perspective, sensitivity, and intimacy of someone who has lived a quality life and has the wisdom to show for it. I wish to make the transition from the physical desire for younger women to the deep passions of an older woman. Hopefully you.

If you think your best quality, most enjoyable sexual exploits are in your past then please don’t contact me. If we can play together, you are in for the ride of your life in more ways than one. I heard of a book the other day called “She Comes First.” I wholeheartedly endorse that philosophy.

I am passionate about my work. I lead workshops and have written six books about people. About how we think, how we act, about our patterns and what a curiosity we are. Though my books are too smart to be popular, I have sold well over a hundred thousand copies.

My daughter is newly out of the nest and my son will soon be sixteen. I have home schooled both kids. The college system, if grades and scholarships and teacher or student interactions are any indication, is very pleased with our home schooling.

I love and get along with my ex-wife though we are not and won’t be romantically involved again. If you get along well with people in your past and present, it is likely we will have a good time together.

I am deep in many ways but superficial in others. I am more attracted to women who are thin, athletic, and pretty. I want to be proud of the way you look on my arm. You don’t need to look young, but you need to care enough about yourself to take care of yourself well. I am much less interested in your age than in how you have maintained yourself.

While I am no spring chicken, at 57 — I fudged for the search engines above — I swim several miles a week and work out regularly. I don’t really think of myself as old and, as I have mentioned, think my best sexual years are ahead of me as are my most creative years. I want to be continually attracted and aroused by you on both shallow and deep levels.

I am prouder and more delighted with my children than anything else in my life. They are independent and I seek the companionship of someone who is ready to reclaim her life as I reclaim mine. Reclaim it from the role of parent and nudge it ever so gently to being a lover.

I would like to take long walks with you, listen to the rain with you, share what it is to be accomplished, self-sufficient, proud of the past, excited about the future and ready for the next few decades of adventure. That said, I wouldn’t mind a few flings without any seriousness attached. I have never had such a thing. In fact, finding a partner for the rest of my life might just start with a fling that grows into much more.

I am willing to be incredibly truthful with each other and get so close and intimate it threatens and then strengthens our roots and who we are both together and separately. I don’t have the time or inclination to wait until you are ready. I would like you to arrive ready. I am ready. If you want more information about what I do, google Jerry Stocking. There you will get a sense of whether we could perhaps play together.

Our first meeting took place in the driveway. She asked that I be outside so she could see me before she got out of the car. Luckily we have two dogs and they were more than willing to be patted indefinitely. Sitting on the porch, waiting excitedly for car lights up our long drive was a grand pleasure. There they were.

We spent the next fifteen hours in silence. We touched, we embraced, we got to know each others smell, taste, look and feeling all without a word. We let our bodies do the talking, something they were more than willing to do. I have never, ever, been touched so sweetly and so deeply. It was like something out of a movie where you say, “that would never really happen.”

It was two or three days later that I heard her voice on my voicemail for the first time. A deep sensual voice that fit perfectly. The date transpired on Wednesday evening and I was due in Austin on Friday. I was a workshop leader at Joe Vitale’s and Mark Ryan’s “Attracting Wealth Seminar” (more in another writing).

It was several days later that we spoke for the first time. On Tuesday evening, after a few more emails and several voicemails, we finally spoke. I was returning to Georgia the next day and she (again coincidentally) was heading out that same day. Her plane was leaving an hour after mine would arrive. She met me at the gate. Remember how wonderful it was to have people meet you at the gate? There she was. We had an hour and cuddled and spoke and danced together until her plane boarded.

In the time between our first meeting and our next get together, it would have been possible (even likely) that I would inflate or deflate (or in some way alter) my perception of her. Our meeting at the Atlanta airport revealed that I hadn’t and neither had she. The delight of seeing one another carried me home and sent her on her way.

Several e-mails later we are both looking forward to our next meeting. Within moments of her return… I hope.

I offer this story for a number of reasons. One is that I love to tell it and it is about love. And what in the world is better than that? Another is that I have a knack, pointed out by Wayne, to discover really fun, interesting, and economical ways to have things work for me. Writing a profile to have Match.com serve me (instead of me serving it) really worked. Making my outrageous proposal to this Dakini really worked as well. In any situation there is the opportunity to find out how things have been done in the past, what problems typically arise, and what are the variables and constants. You can play with the variables and respect the constants.

I have many more stories that reinforce this point. But what I would really like is to hear yours. Have you thought, felt or otherwise explored outside the box, outside the rules, outside the norms to discover new and wonderful ways to do things? Have you found love when you thought that it just wasn’t anywhere to be found? Have you delighted yourself by your own brilliance when you just let it shine through? Have you discovered new ways of doing business that made it way more profitable? Are you currently up against some obstacles and you need new perspectives? What’s up with you?

I recall standing on my back porch with Mark Ryan and him asking if I’d like to speak at his upcoming Attract Wealth Seminar. I didn’t say “yes” to the seminar; I said “yes” to Mark.

Mark has been doing my work for years along with his own. He’s an accomplished hypnotherapist and much more. He is someone I have watched magically evolve over the years. And he’s incredibly generous.

Saying “yes” to Mark was easy. Pondering speaking at the seminar was a little confusing. I am a workshop leader. I spend many hours with fairly small groups of people — going deep and deeper and deeper still. The idea of playing with more than a hundred people for just a few hours was scarily novel to me. And inspiring, as well.

A gently, raging spring storm of ideas settled in. There’s nothing like an impending event to fire one’s creativity. Knowing something about myself and this process, I settled into creation knowing that anything I could plan a few months before the event would either change or disappear by the day of the event.

The trick to leading an inspiring workshop or speech is to always know way less than anyone else in the room but have a willingness to learn everything while giving the presentation. A fringe benefit of this approach is that it’s loads more fun.

The day before the seminar, Mark picked me up at the airport in Austin. While he was the prime organizer of the event (along with his girlfriend Kathy), Mark seemed to have all the time in the world. This was a real credit to his ability to remain sane and and not be terribly busy the day before a big event.

That evening there was a mixer. A chance for seminar attendees to meet some of the speakers. I have never been a social butterfly. A bit more of a caterpillar, socially speaking.

I reconnected with a few people who had been to my courses before, but most of the people were new to me. It was really fun watching their patterns and also a hoot realizing they had no idea who I was or what was in store for them. They kept asking me what I was going to speak about. Of course, I didn’t have a clue because it wasn’t time for the presentation yet. Was it really OK not to plan something? I recalled a speech class in high school when I delivered five minutes worth of material in a minute flat and was left standing, embarassed for what seemed like the rest of my natural life.

Breakfast the next morning had me sitting with Brian. Brian is a Christian and a father of five. Naturally, I watched his patterns as I sat with him. He would make a picture and freeze frame it. Then he would hold that picture up to a reference representation in his head.

This is the process he uses to maintain his religion. He slows things down by doing this. And while it seems to work well for religion, it also undercuts his creativity in many aspects of his life. Oddly, as I told him about what I was observing, he was incredibly receptive — to the point of altering his patterns on the fly and letting his pictures go by without the editing. A really enjoyable breakfast and connection we had.

I wandered over to where Mark was finishing breakfast. It was about 30 minutes before the seminar was to begin. We headed out onto a large balcony to do some chi kung only to be met by a group of smokers. Another balcony and it was just us…or so I thought. A few minutes into some practice and I slowly turned around to face the street, one story below. A black man standing across the street began doing chi kung with us. He was much more accomplished than I am so he led a bit and then blended into my form. The energy was amazing as he brought his hands together in front of his body and bowed to us, yelling, “All right!”

With just a few minutes before the event was to begin, Mark invited me to introduce him. “Yes.” I think this is my first-ever live presentation to more than a hundred people. It was a pleasure. So much energy, so much willingness, so much possibility. I played with Mark a bit as he began speaking. Mark has always been willing to incorporate anything he can learn, rather than holding to what he knows—even in front of these people. Very cool.

I was to speak at 2 pm, right after lunch. Snooooze. People tend to sleep after lunch, it is nap time. On this day, it wasn’t.

I began my presentation with music played through really power able speakers and then had the group attempt to levitate my tiny, new MacBook Air laptop. They tried and tried. No luck until a guy who calls himself “Twenty” — and has worked with me off and on for a few years — got up from his chair, walked to the podium, and lifted my laptop by hand.

That was, of course, what I was after. Never call on the universe, or some incredible powers, when you can just take the easy way.

I think the next two-and-a-half hours was some of the most enjoyable time I’ve ever spent. At one point, early on, a woman raised her hand and said “I have no idea what you are talking about.” So, this presentation was “business as usual.” I have spent so much time in the last 25 years in front of groups of people who have no idea what I am talking about. Until, and what a precious moment this always is, they get it. And at the same time they get themselves.

My entire presentation was captured on video with two different cameras. As I write this, the video is at the editors and will be available to you soon. I suspect it will be a riot and educational and much more. It will certainly be funny and I wonder what the heck I talked about. I do know the prime focusof my presentation, if there was one, was inviting people back to NOTHING. From nothing we can create anything and everything. The road back to nothing is a bit chaotic, but well worth the journey.

At the end of my presentation, which I wished would never end, I asked the people to hold questions until the next day. One objective I had was to use myself up completely in three hours. I did it.

That night there was a fabulous group dinner with steak and lobster leading to wandering down 6th Street with its wild bars, live music, and more. I have never been propositioned by someone “on the clock” before. She asked, “would you like some company tonight?” I, as nicely as I could, let her know I already had some.

The next day brought more speakers and a chance for me to get to know a number of workshops attendees through cozy conversations. Mid-afternoon, Mark led the group in a hypnotic induction and I walked them through an extended meditation (impromptu of course) while my new friend Jennifer McLean toned incredibly making the whole experience unforgetable.

Attract Wealth Seminar concluded. I made many new friends and was supported by old ones. Joe Vitale is one of the new ones; Dow, who arrived last minute from NYC, is an old one. I was continually amazed and dazzled at how much fun and how willing the seminar participants were. They made the event, as did the speakers who were there as much to learn and grow as to present.

With the end of the workshop came an evening of rest, and then…

On Monday I did a one-day workshop exploring sales. We wedged 30-some people into a tiny room in Dripping Springs, TX and went deep. I had expected to stay shallow for the entire Attracting Wealth Seminar and the ensuing Sales Workshop. I wasn’t sure I could. Thank goodness I didn’t have to. Not only were the participants willing to dive deep but also able. We captured Monday on video too. So, if you’re interested in sales…watching this just might make you some money.

My thanks go out to: Mark, the inspiration behind me going to Austin; to Kathy who quietly made sure everything worked; and to Joe who was primarily responsible for gathering people for the seminar and who is inspiring and fun long before and after he speaks. Also thanks to the other speakers who were a pleasure to play with and to everyone who attended. What a miraculous time. Thank you all.

The great fun is that I get to go back to Austin in just a few weeks. On June 28-29, 2008, I’ll be conducting a weekend workshop. Read more about that here.