Most people fake it. They greet you as though they are happy or happy to see you even if they are not. They put on a smile when a picture is being taken or even if one isn’t.
I recall many years ago attending a Tony Robbins event. He was powerful, loud, driven and motivational as always. But, I saw him in the back of the room on a break and he looked tired, worn and totally non-motivational. Poor tired Tony was putting on an act for the rest of us.
At some point the act wears thin. It may even lead to depression or the inability to fake it anymore. At that point people are likely to think there is something wrong with you. Heck, you are likely to think there is something wrong with yourself. Why isn’t the world as bright as it seemed to be? Why don’t the things that used to please you trip your trigger anymore?
I am here to tell you, Bunky, that when your world turns down it is not only a good thing. It is a natural evolution to a deeper, more balanced, more connected way of life.
Faking it is cool, and you should do it for as long as you can. But when you just can’t anymore you have entered a new phase of life.
To explain this I am going to go all Chinese on you for a little bit.
Years ago I was out to dinner at a Chinese restaurant with my boss, his wife and a good friend of mine, half my age, who I worked with.
We ate a spirited meal but then came the fortune cookies. Not, it seems fortunate this particular evening because my boss’s wife, as a re-born Christian, perceived these little tasty treats to be Pagan symbols. She wouldn’t open or eat hers.
My young friend, bless his heart, said “Oh, I will read your fortune for you.” He cracked open her cookie and read it out loud. His pluck, meeting such resistance and moving through it dazzled me. It was all the more delightful since his father was a fundamentalist preacher. He just didn’t have any problem with a little bit of ancient oriental wisdom.
In simplistic terms this world is composed of yin and yang. Yin is female energy and yang is male energy. These two work out their differences in Juan Chi, which is the neutral container for both. They also work out their differences in a marriage, a political campaign or within you.
When your yin is high you tend to be a little less solid, you flow but you will also seem a bit down, negative, in the extreme even depressed. When your yang is up, or out of balance you will have more energy, you will want to get stuff done, you will be all the things the motivational speaker wants you to be and perhaps more.
Faking it is usually a matter of pretending to have yang energy when you really don’t. It is sort of like borrowing energy that isn’t really yours. There is always a cost for borrowing and in this case continually faking it wears you out.
Fake yang, or mock yang as I call it, is extremely common in our culture. We actually fake it a lot, and we hope we are faking it until we make it but usually we are faking it until we don’t make it.
Pretending to be happy, trying to be motivated, optimistic or upbeat are all symptoms of mock yang. Mock yang is fake because it isn’t balanced with an equal and opposite amount of yin energy. It, in fact, is an attempt to avoid yin energy.
Real power, real optimism, genuine positive experience isn’t a result of faking it. It is a result of yang and yin energy mixing together and perfectly balancing each other. When this happens, and it happens often but just as often goes unnoticed in you: you have a moment of pure, simple presence. You experience yourself as neither yin or yang but Juan Chi, the container of the ongoing mix of yin and yang.
When this happens you are peaceful, you are present and you effortlessly rise above and sink into exactly how things are. This balance is where well being, real well being lives. It is where you get to just be you and being you is a treat.